The HEART-FEELING Enneagram Types of 2-3-4. Their virtues and their short-comings
The following lists are values based words and phrases selected to best describe an understanding of each Enneagram Type.
by Jonathan M Marden
The "LIGHT" Positive side: (healthy well-being)
(2) COMPASSIONATE
The Compassionate person endeavours to be unconditionally loving and generous through service and care to others.
Compassionate people are...
- Helpful / Service Oriented
- Caring / Supportive / Genial
- Merciful / Humane / Lenient
- Considerate / Mindful
- Generous / Charitable
- Valuing / Sincere / Assisting
- Sympathetic / Cherishing
- Tender-hearted / Gentle
- Loving-Kindness / Forgiving
- Thoughtful of others
(3) EFFICIENT (or sufficiency)
The Efficient person strives to reach success through being the best at what they do.
Efficient people are...
- Achieving / Initiative taking
- Goal driven / Motivating
- Resourceful / Capable
- Industrious / Successful
- Proficient / Deft / Adept
- Confident / Excelling / Agile
- Impressive / Energetic
- Skilful / Masterful / Effective
- Accomplished / Competent
- Independent / Organised
(4) UNIQUE
The Unique person seeks originality and significance through personal genuine expression.
Unique people are...
- Original / Passionate
- Intuitive / Imaginative
- Creative / Inspiring / Empathic
- Intense / Extraordinary
- Expressive / Revealing
- Dramatic / Unusual / Different
- Special / Distinguishing
- Rare / Unconventional
- Distinctive / Refined
- Individualistic / Atypical
The "DARKER" Negative side:
(unhealthy well-being)
(2) CONTEMPTUOUS - wants appreciation
Either....
- needy / obligating / manipulative
- must be indispensable / conniving
- busy-body / intrusive / meddling
and / or...
- belittling / controlling / derisive
- demanding / oppressive / harsh
-> fears being discarded
-> deflects using subjugation
(3) DEVIOUS - wants adulation
Either....
- winning at all costs / vain / deceiving
- sees others as losers / conceited
- overly competitive / self important
and / or...
- makes excuses / denies / defies
- flippant / superficial / dismissive
-> fears being disgraced
-> deflects using subterfuge
(4) ENVIOUS - wants admiration
Either....
- flamboyant / outrageous / charming
- limelight seeker / exhibitionistic
- flatterer / over the top / volatile
and / or...
- melancholic / estranged / aggrieves
- obliging door-mat / people-pleaser
-> fears being despised
-> deflects using subservience
The Compassionate person in trying to escape the feeling of being unloved and unwanted, can falsely believe they have no needs, they only care about the needs of others. Instead the Compassionate person needs to see themselves as equally important by developing a greater sense of their own special individuality.
The Efficient person in trying to escape the feeling of failure or being branded as incompetent, can falsely believe they do not fail because they always get the job done. Instead the Efficient person needs to stop trying to 'win at all costs', but be accountable for the support received whether in failure or success.
The Unique person in trying to escape the feeling of inferiority and being defective and insignificant, can falsely believe they are different, special and one of a kind. Instead the Unique person needs to be creative and inspiring to others in a conscientious and purposeful manner that reveals real integrity.
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The Enneagram teaches that to be better in well-being and self awareness then...
a (2) is to practice behaviours like a FOUR
being unique and distinctively different
For an Enneagram 2 to become a better, 'healthier' 2, they must practice the ways of a 4, by finding ways to give legitimacy to their own needs, through becoming a point of difference and practicing those things that make them feel special and positive about themselves.
a (3) is to practice behaviours like a SIX
being a loyal and trustworthy team member
For an Enneagram 3 to become a better, 'healthier' 3, they must practice the ways of a 6 by becoming more of a team player, fulfilling obligations, and being truthful and faithful towards others. This will effectively enhance their efficient competence.
a (4) is to practice behaviours like a ONE
ensuring to do what is right and just
For an Enneagram 4 to become a better, 'healthier' 4, they must practice the ways of a 1 by always making sure to do what is right, for themselves and others, by being trustworthy, fair, just, and honest. This will significantly reduce stress and any potentials for destructive drama.